lynntech's Xanga

From the Long Sad Party

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 04:33:13 GMT

by Mark Strand

Someone was saying
something about shadows covering the field, about
how things pass, how one sleeps towards morning
and the morning goes.

Someone was saying
how the wind dies down but comes back,
how shells are the coffins of wind
but the weather continues.

It was a long night
and someone said something about the moon shedding its
   white
on the cold field, that there was nothing ahead
but more of the same.

Someone mentioned
a city she had been in before the war, a room with two
   candles
against a wall, someone dancing, someone watching.
We began to believe

the night would not end.
Someone was saying the music was over and no one had
   noticed.
Then someone said something about the planets, about the
   stars,
how small they were, how far away.

cheers!

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 05:46:23 GMT

"one cannot question the existence of feelings; they are there, raw and undeniable.
but one can choose not to nurture what is felt.
yet, no matter what they say, what has been felt will always be more honest than what was chosen.
hence, true realities are not built by the mind but by the heart..."

hmmm. so much for MY reality.

happy new year everyone!

ebooks galore!

Mon, 21 Jul 2008 23:31:03 GMT

hey friends, get your free e-books here:
EBOOKS GALORE!!!

Oh Well...

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:59:23 GMT

"And no matter how you try to be kind
there's always still a part of you you'll leave behind.

When it falls apart,
there's no easy way to break somebody's heart."

Magnified!

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 13:18:05 GMT

I love the people in my YFC Household to bits.

We had our Household this morning at Miko's place. Coming from a long (imposed) vacation, most of the kids were just excited to finally have a reason to get out of the house. Thank God it didn't rain!

We see each other every week but this household was special since this was the meeting where Tito Manny and Tita Nini joined us. I was reminded once again that despite all the things that are happening around me, the work continues and there is just so much love to be shared.

After our household @ Miko's, we went to Pan de Amerikana, this bread shop / coffee shop / restaurant in Marikina. It's the coolest place. Actually, "dainty" might be a better word to describe it. See for yourself...

The food's quite cheap but definitely filling. Imagine having Saba con Yelo and an ultra large Ensaymada for only 27 pesos! Mmmmm. And their pan de sals (almost twice as large as the regular pugon ones) are really nice. Too bad I didn't get to try their other stuff (which are also reasonably priced, by the way)... Apparently, they close the restaurant part of the store early during Sundays. The bonus of course is the ambiance. You could spend hours there and not get bored. You'll feel really close to nature with its open air (don't worry, it's in Marikina so it's not too polluted, haha) and soothing background music (this afternoon they had Don Moen on, hmmmm...). Anyway, other than their extra large serving of food, they also have a LARGE chess set inside... <see pictures below> and tons of regular-sized ones that you could use while enjoying your food and drinks. But don't be fooled by its woodsy charm man, they have free WI-FI! The ultimate tambayan and the absolute heaven for chess (and food) lovers out there. So what are you waiting for? Pan de Amerikana is the place to be! Wahahaha. Haaay, if only I got paid for these things.

Check out how much fun we had today!

Oh yeah, when I got home, I also had bonding time with my family... the perfect ending for my day.

Anyway, my day reminded me of our SectorCon theme, MAGNIFIED. No, not just because of the ultra large bread and chess pieces. I was simply reminded to focus on Him and His blessings again. Finally, I'm getting myself back on track. Whew. This is just what I needed. What a perfect way to start my week.

Catchyaguyslater!

-xs-
I saw my old HH last Wednesday...
I love them to bits too! Haha!
Can't wait for our next "reunion" thingie.

Trust in the Lord and He will help you.
Walk straight in His ways and put your hope in Him.
Sirach 2:6

Temporary Madness

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 08:59:03 GMT

Kagabi’y magdamag na nagpuyat sa alaala mo
Inulit-ulit hunihin ang kanta mong paborito
Pilit na nilanghap sa hangin ang iyong pabango
Binantayang sumilang ang araw na bago.
Kaya nang umulan kaninang umaga
Ako ay nangiti, ni hindi nagtaka
Dahil tanda ito na tayo’y nagkita
Kagabi sa isip at sa alaala
-Frank G. Rivera

You see things; and you say, “Why?”
But I dream things that never were; and I say, “Why not?”
-George Bernard Shaw

Yeah... Why not? Hmmmm.

Time flies (zooms past) - it's crazy. Haaay. Has it really been two years?

Oh well, life goes on.

I guess I'm not my usual apathetic self today...

Must be the rain.

Another Ordinary Day

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 15:20:27 GMT

Kulet.

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 03:00:18 GMT

Funny. Try it too!

Wednesday Delight

Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:06:20 GMT

10 Reasons Why I Like Razon’s Halo-Halo
(Not a paid advertisement. Haha.)

1. It's not too SWEET

I love sweet things but then again, too much of something is always bad. *evil laugh*

2. It has my FAVORITE ingredients

From the milk and macapuno to the leche flan and the saba (sweetened bananas)… Man oh man.

3. It's the perfect BLEND

Quite surprisingly, the simple ingredients really mesh well together.

4. It has no FRILLS

I could live without the usual colorful stuff in Halo-Halo. I’d go with simple pero rock any day!

5. It comes with very finely SHAVED ice

I think the secret is the ice. It’s better when it melts in your mouth – you enjoy the whole experience and it won’t leave you hurting after.

6. It's just ENOUGH to satisfy

The serving is just right – not bitin or nakakaumay. You are left with a feeling of satisfaction after.

7. Its PRICE is right

So maybe it’s not as cheap as your regular Halo-Halo but the generous serving of the ingredients makes up for it. It’s definitely worth every peso.

8. It isn't too COMMON

It makes you look forward to every glass because it takes effort to get one… and it’s rare enough to become a craving (you wouldn’t crave for something you can have anytime, right? ).

9. It's best when having a CHAT

I think the best time to really chat is after a great meal or during merienda – (when you’re not distracted by hunger). This Halo-Halo is the perfect food for chatting and chillaxing. Consuming a glass would be time enough to share quite a bunch of secrets with your dear friends. Hmmm.

10. It brings back MEMORIES

I’ve shared many a Razon’s Halo-Halo to make me really love this sweet treat. Ikeee. Hahaha.

So there, I just felt like sharing one of my simple joys.

Hmmm, I was only talking about Halo-Halo, right? Right. Hahaha.

Take care y’all.

COLLIDE

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 16:22:42 GMT

I feel good. And I feel even better because I’m writing… or more appropriately, blogging. Whew. Finally.

I think I just went through what I’d like to call a Cluttered Cranium Crisis. (Yeah, yeah… so I couldn’t think of another C-word for head! ) I detached myself from most of the people I know, refused to share what was going on in my life and I just (to put it simply) filled my head with crap. I found it really hard to live with myself so I eventually decided to clean up the mess I made. Anyway, in clearing up the cobwebs, grime and other icky stuff from my mind, I discovered a few things, and I decided to write them down because they’re really useful especially for twenty-something, half-crazy missionary women out there with chronic cases of CCC.

Matutong makisama, lalo na sa mga hindi mo pa gaanong kakilala.

I used to be antisocial... and very apathetic. Have I mentioned that in my previous blogs? Well, now I have. It’s ironic considering my line of work right now but it really took a long and tedious process for me to overcome that quirk. So okay, I still have my moments but hey, I’m doing better! It’s a struggle each and every time I interact with new people and when they expect me to participate in activities that require a lot of interpersonal thingies but I learned in the past weeks that if I only allow myself, I could learn a lot of things from everyone around me.

Mahirap umintindi kapag ayaw mong makinig.

This applies to most relationships in life but I would use this to describe my relationship with God. There are times when I find it hard to listen to Him. A prime example of this was just this June. It was a real struggle for me, knowing that while other people have a hard time hearing Him, there I was, ignoring Him.

Thankfully, I got through it. And one comfort I got was from Collide, Howie Day’s song. I’ve been listening to it over and over and I realized that it was a perfect dialogue between me and God. We do collide – I sometimes find it hard to listen to Him and I don’t always understand His will. But inevitably, we collide because I am drawn to Him, and that I am constantly seeking to be near and connected to Him. He truly has a great impact in my life.

GOD:

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

But I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide

ME:

I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
You somehow find, you and I collide

Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

GOD:

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

Hindi na maibabalik ang kahapon.

No regrets. That’s practically my motto if I cared to have one. But somehow I lost it a few weeks back because things got a little nasty and I found myself wishing that some things in my life played out a little differently. Yup, it was another one of those things when I made everything personal... too personal. Then I guess after a lot of reflection I realized that my outlook in life wouldn’t be this good (and I wouldn’t have a job this cool) if it weren’t for all those undesirable stuff. So now I’m back on track, looking forward to more surprises and amazing things for tomorrow.

Hindi mahalaga ang tagal at layo sa pagkakaibigan.

While I was having one of my crazy fits, I had friends from all over soothe me and one of the most comforting was Migs. He reminded me how great God was in my life. It wasn’t really the words that he said, but talking to him gave me a lot of realizations. First, because he was a dear friend and the fact that we’re still close after all these years showed me God’s faithfulness. Second, he is away on mission (JVP) and the fact that God brought both of us in this line of work (two of the most unlikely ‘missionaries’ just a couple of years back) just shows how awesome God is in changing people’s lives. And third, the fact that he is far away but still willing to help me out reminded me that God will forever meet me where I am, that He will take care of me. I was simply assured that all the friendships God gave me are precious, and that I am truly blessed because I have people around me who will just be there for me whenever, wherever, however.

Matulog ng maaga, gumising ng tama, kumain ng masustansiya.

I need to take care of myself more. I’m still getting over cough and colds. If I’m sick, I get cranky. And if I’m cranky I don’t get work my done efficiently. So go figure. It’s been a week and I’m still barking like a mad dog especially early in the morning. It sucks because just when I make an effort to sleep early, I am awakened in the wee hours of the morning by my annoying cough. Oh well, at least I don’t have fever to go with the cough-cold combo. I just really need to take good care of myself… or maybe someone to take care of me. Haha, nah, I think the meds will do.

Huwag magpadala sa mga malabo.

Hmmm, how do I explain this? I wasn’t born a writer so I don’t know how to put this more creatively but here it is in a nutshell: I don’t need people messing with my head right now. I don’t need situations that would make me go even crazier than I already am. Do I make myself clear? So there. I guess that’s it on this matter. Hahaha.

Kapit lang.

In my lowest times, God sent me the most unexpected people to help me out. He also helped me find joy again in what I am doing, and with the people around me. I am in awe at His greatness in my life. He has been so faithful with my work, family and relationships that it’s natural to put my complete trust in Him. He keeps me holding on… actually, He keeps on holding me up.

I also learned to hold dearly the people around me. I truly find myself smiling more often because the people around me affirm how blessed I am. Oh yeah, I just have to mention that I love my new YFC Household. They inspire me in so many ways and remind me of the reason why I do this work in the first place. I am excited to see how this year together would forever change our lives.

It’s been one month since my last entry and ages since I wrote down anything more than a paragraph. I’ve been wondering (and complaining) why I could no longer write and then a friend told me that I’ve probably been emptied with all the heartaches and confusions in my mind. I guess she was partly right – a lot was indeed taken from me but more than that, a lot of distress was left rotting in the corners of my heart. I spent the last month emptying myself more, removing all that shouldn’t be there and a point came when I found myself left with very little. I think I was at my worst then, when I found myself suddenly empty, void of any emotion. Luckily, people came to help me out. Mercifully, God’s grace saw me through. Those seven things I mentioned are but some of the things that really kept me going; it’s a list that gave me a refresher on how to walk through life again with a renewed sense of hope that life will indeed get better.

So adieu, I’m off to find more ways to fill myself up.